Friday, September 30, 2005
about b**ching

Aqilah and Diy gave me a nice and touching letter today. You two are really making melt into a puddle of octopus juice! Did you know that i almost cried reading your letter? So sweet of you! Thank yOU!!!!! <3<3
I was smsing Lulu and mugging for Vivaldi just now. Highlighter and Vivaldi notes in one hand, handphone (which vibrated every 3 minutes or so) in the other. I can tell you the Vivaldi and smsing lulu DO NOT mix. Please, whatever you do, don't ever try this at home.
I went for my weekly blog-visiting today. I agree with the latest post on amira's blog. I'm not indirectly criticising anyone but what good comes out of b**ching about others? You may really hate a person, but don't forget that everyone's human and everyone including yourself, has their own idiosyncracy. No one's perfect. And if you really don't like the person, at least keep the b**ching to yourself and not publicise the person's negative characteristics. It's just not a very nice thing to do lah. Sorry... :/
Speaking of b**ching, I visited the long-lost blog! All about me! LULU has a blog that totally SINGS HER PRAISES and on the contrary, a very kind soul from MY PRIMARY SCHOOL has very kindly created a pathetic blog which B**CHES about me. WOW.
To the person who created that blog. I am sure you are an ex-classmate of mine. You probably loathe me or something that I did, but you better not loathe my MOTHER. just because my mom and I were in the same school doesn't mean that I can have extra opportunities to prove myself or suck up to teachers. just because i'm in rgs doesn't mean that i'm hao lian, b**chy and whatever. just because FANG AND LENG liked me and willingly became my best friends, doesn't mean that I STOLE STOLE STOLE them from anyone. Please. You don't steal friends, you make friends. Anyway I'm like so oblivious to your b**ching now, and you don't even update your pathetic shitty blog. I DON'T HATE ANYONE IN THIS WORLD EXCEPT BALLOONS. Show yourself and let's get things straightened out immediately. I'll be waiting. But actually, I already know who you are. Stop faking it already.
Deseo llenar el mundo de amor y quitar todo el odio en él. HASTA LA VISTA AMIGOS.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Mr soh!!!

HAHA. Can you believe it? I woke up at 11.15am this morning! Probably because of this VERY VERY VERY BAD nightmare i had about (ahem ahem) MR SOH. and very strangely, this time vera and annie and loads of PITs were in this dream too.
Here begins the horrific dream entitled Mr Soh and The Hut of Terror.
AHEM. I was on this speed boat with annie and vera somewhere in the sea. We were destined for Pulau Ubin to shop for cheap clothes and accesories (but in real life Pulau Ubin only sells fruits). On a roaring speed boat. Well we arrived at Pulau Ubin half an hour later and we parked the boat in some warehouse in the sea... Then we started buying lots of clothes and video games and when we were finally done, it was already around 3pm. We got on the boat and headed for mainland Singapore. As we were riding, we realised that we were fast approaching a deserted part of Changi Beach and I spotted a tall, weather-beaten hut built on top of a huge rock near the shore.
OH MAN the worst thing was that I pointed out the hut to Annie and Vera and they were quite interested in it. So we went closer to the hut, and as we approached, a tall man with VERY distinct curtains of wavy black hair standing outside the hut.
"The hut has an owner?" said annie.
"EH harlow! You want to come in, take some rest? The sky dark dark, going to rain leh! Come in lah!"
We all gave the man furtive looks, glanced up at the overcast sky and entered the hut. We parked the boat near the edge of the rock.
"Mr Soh! Hi!" I said excitedly.
Mr Soh didnt say a word. He shoved us into the hut which was, to our surprise, crowded with people.
"DON'T COME IN! HE'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK HE IS!" cried the people desperately.
It was too late. We were already pushed into the hut, forced to squeeze with the rest of its occupants. I stared at all the people, who all looked bedraggled and tired. The people told us that they'd been tricked into the hut by Mr Soh, and they were forced to stay in the hut without any food or water. They'd been living on the bottles of water they'd brought with them on their journeys and rain water. Soon it began to rain. Immediately the people gathered their empty bottles and pails which they found in the hut, and began to collect the rain water which seeped through the roof of the hut. Annie and vera and I followed suit.
So Mr Soh had been holding people captive in his little hut, ill-treating them. We were told that when any of the people had to pee, they would have to bend down and pee through a rather large hole in the hut. EW. It was a Saturday, and the people had been kept in the hut since Thursday or Friday night. Why would Mr Soh do such a thing? Didnt he have to teach in school on thursday and friday? Oh. According to the people, Mr Soh locked the hut up when he wasn't keeping watch over the hut. Otherwise, he'd leave the door open. The three of us started screaming and yelling, and finally Mr Soh poked his head into the hut and warned, "The next person who screams will be drowned to death by me!!!!!" ............ We all had no choice but to sleep in the hut.
Three hours later, Annie and I woke up to find that there was a hole in the roof! We peered through the hole and saw a group of PITs (including lulu and liyana and PITs from other classes) talking together, their arms laden with hotdog buns and mineral water. Suddenly they looked into the hole and threw down all the food and water they had into the hut, and everyone was really grateful. We tried to ask them for help but they'd quickly left, whispering, "Mr Soh's coming...."
At nightfall Mr Soh had gone off to a coffeeshop in Changi to buy himself supper. "I'm going to buy char kway teow! Whoever dares to leave this hut, I will make sure he or she is personally killed by me!!!" WHATEVER. Once Mr Soh had gone, I realised that he had forgotten to lock up the hut! I pushed open the door and told annie and vera that i was going to escape. "No you can't! Mr Soh will murder you!" they cried. But I smiled at them and crept out to the beach. I looked around. No mr soh. Nobody at all. Our speed boat was gone, too. Since i was very familiar with Changi beach I sprinted as fast as I could to the nearest bus stop and flagged a taxi.
SAFE AT LAST. I arrived at my house safely and got my mom to pay the taxi man. My mom was really worried but I told her that I had just gone to a friend's party. Actually I was really scared.................
PART 2: Mr Soh's RETURN
The moment I got home I closed and locked up every single door and window in my house, except for that very window which was nearest to THE DOOR. OH NO. I THINK I HEAR FOOTSTEPS. MR SOH MIGHT KNOW MY ADDRESS.... Dad and mom were in their own rooms with my dog, and my maid was sleeping. And then...
CRACK. Mr Soh peered over the opaque board I put on the window, his eyes searching the room. There i was. Crouched down on the bench RIGHT UNDER THE WINDOW. I could hear his breath. I crawled across the room to get to the stairs, praying that he wouldn't see me but.....
"VICTORIA."
mr soh grinned maliciously, his eyes narrowing ferociously... He was very angry. Immediately I raced up to my room and locked the door, panting like siao. BANG. Mr soh had just rammed through the door and entered my house, running up the stairs at the speed of light. He pushed all the doors of the room, and when he came to my room door, he gave it a mighty push and the door cracked. He continued to push it until it was totally broken, and I screamed as he lunged forward at me. I jumped off the bed and jumped down the stairs to the balcony, screaming for my parents to help me. Mr soh was in the kitchen... He was looking for me... I was hiding under a shelf behind my swing and bicycle, praying VERY hard that he wouldn't see me... He entered the balcony, checking every nook and cranny, until...
"ABOUT TIME YOU DIED, VICTORIA."
ohman i was doomed.
PART 3: THE MAGICAL LETTER
Mr Soh had stretched out his hands to strangle me when my DAD slapped him hard on the shoulder. My Dad and Mr Soh fought for a while, until my dad suddenly brandished a paper with the word "MOE" on it.
"Ivan, do you want to lose your job? Look here, these are the names of all the MALE teachers in Singapore who have been fired for their bizarre but rash actions..."
Dad, my brave dad, thrust the paper into mr soh's blood-stained hands.
"I...I kept those people there because... I wanted to discipline them... For fun..."
DIAO. I almost collapsed.
"You shall go now, Ivan, and stop your shenanigans unless you want my wife and I to report you to the MOE."
HOORAY. Mr Soh got onto his feet and hurried off to release the people he'd captured. Including annie and vera.
THE END. That's the world's stupidest wildest dream. HAHA. WOOT. :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Monday, September 26, 2005
SICK.

ahh the only reason i've got time to blog now is because im sick and i don't need to go to school tomorrow! WOOT! :)
i love spanish! I've been learning all my horrible mediocre fundamental spanish from shows like Barney(yes there is this silly counting song in spanish) and the brothers garcia. amo español!!!
You must have imagined my astonishment when I checked my tagboard today and found that SOMEBODY BY THE NAME OF LULU tagged. I was like eating cheese biscuits ("It's heaty, how can you eat that when you're running a high fever ha?") when I saw lulu's tags and GRRR I nearly sent bits of biscuits flying around the house! HAHAHA well anyway the person whom I wrote such a poignant, sad, oh-so-earnest-and-sincere (my foot ah!) letter to IS NOT MY AUNT SHE USED TO BE MY MAID! Logically speaking why would either of my parents have relatives in the Philippines? heh.
YAY this is the life man! I was listening to k-one songs until I fell asleep right on top of the TV remote control, and stayed there for two hours. What a sloth I am! Let's see...
Two hours ago I dreamt that Zan gave me a hamper for no rhyme or reason. And inside the hamper was a stuffed green toad, some biscuits and a book on philosophy. And then after receiving the hamper I went to the pond outside Novena Square to play in the water with ANNIE.
aren't my dreams just WEIRD?

Saturday, September 24, 2005
to aunty joy...

Dear Josephina de Leon (aka Auntie Joy),
HELLO! i haven't seen or talked to you for six years already. Where are you? Are you in the Philippines with your two sons now? Are you still at your home near the volcano which you used to tell me about last time? Or are you with your new husband in the United States, living a carefree and happy life? Or are you still working as a maid in some far-off country?
Auntie Joy, I miss you so much! You weren't a maid to me at all, you were my playmate, my guardian, my friend. You were with me ever since I was in Mummy's womb, and you took care of me for six whole years. My memory of you is just as clear and vivid as it was six years ago. I remember all the naughty things you did to me, hahaha.... I remember when I was four, I was just starting nursery class at the school nearby. We'd walk there together every day, and on the way, we would talk and laugh and you would let me ride your shoulders sometimes. Then somewhere in March, I was being a very difficult child in my nursery so Mummy had no choice but to take me out of school for the rest of the year. In the morning, I'd wake up and ask for my milk, and you'd nearly always be ready with my milk bottle. After breakfast we'd go downstairs to play in the playground, and you would buy 4D at the shop near our house. And while you were queueing up you would give me a handful of coins to slot into those rides, and i'd ride on that toy car until you finished buying your 4D.
In the afternoon, you'd feed me my lunch while we both played SEGA video games for two hours. We would always play Tiny Toons or Power Rangers, and most of the time your Rangers would thrash mine. You'd give an evil cackle and i used to get fed up when u did that. Nevertheless we still had loads of fun. After bath, you would blow my hair for me and I'd always bring my toy Yellow Ranger to the bathroom with me. Once, you stuck my Ranger's head in your stinky armpit and made me smell it. YUCK. I thought it was pretty disgusting but didn't really mind. The rest of the day would be spent cooking, sleeping and doing assessment books with Mummy.
You left in either June or September, 1997. That day was one of the saddest ones of my life. The saddest day of my life, unfortunately, happened this year. Anyway, the day before, we played the final SEGA game, we sang a Mary Hopkins song together, you slept with me for the very last time... That fateful day, the cup of milk was the last you'd ever make me, and finally, we were off for the airport. I tried to smile, I tried to be happy, but inside, you don't know how sad I felt. We talked for a while at the airport, we hugged and kissed and then you left Singapore forever... Our eyes were swollen and filled with tears, and although I was five and hadn't cried loudly in public for a while, the moment you were completely out of my sight, I just broke down right in front of the whole crowd of people and cried like a baby.
The very last i heard of you was when i was in primary one. I still hadnt quite forgotten about you, and the moment you called, I was so happy and sad that I cried while talking to you. You said you were working as a maid in Hong Kong, and that you missed me very much. You said you were going to marry your American boyfriend and take your sons with you to the US for a better life. The last words you said to me, I still remember.
"I love you, val! Bye bye! God bless you!"

I love you too, Auntie Joy.

Thursday, September 22, 2005
snoops

The past few days were totally hectic. My stupid computer seems to have a virus and as a result I can't access the internet for just half an hour without the modem being automatically disconnected. I spent three whole hours wasting my time just staring into the computer screen trying to look for information on the economy of the Gupta Dynasty. DISASTER. I couldn't find anything but a whole lot of irrelevant information and i ended up editing Jenny's info instead. SIGH...!
I really miss RSS. To be very honest, I long to go back in time and start my primary school education again. I was usually top ten in standard in primary school, best in english, best in science (yeah right hard to believe) and liangzi reminds me a lot of me when i was in primary school. I was like a prefect, house committee (my mom urged me to create cheers), group leader, blah blah blah... But i've been expecting this all the time lah. Everyone in RGS is super-proded but i have NO IDEA how i actually got into RGS via DSA and my PSLE aggregate score. Was it by fluke? I suck big time at geography! it's like no matter how many books i read, no matter how well i listen in class, I just can't seem to get it right. My chinese is probably the worst in class... i need to read more chinese books. By hook or by crook, I'd better finish reading the Huan Zhu Ge Ge book series i bought two years ago. :D At least my jap's really good... Thank God... :D:D:D
The whole week really set me thinking about my relationship with friends... Ang ku kueh, you always say that i need to be more frank, so i'll be really frank this time. Sometimes I regard you as a VERY VERY good friend, probably my best friend in RGS because we knew each other since the DSA last year... But sometimes you know we can't stand each other and we argue a lot... You're really good to me but I honestly think that we're not truly good friends yet. Time will take its course. right now i need to socialise with the rest of the class...
My lit group. You've been the BEST group i've ever worked with and we've been through a lot together. Diy. I think the first thing i told you was that you're THE GODDAUGHTER *winks*. Chio chio chio stick! Nads, my twin! Haha i think we both had a pleasant surprise when we found out that we shared the same birthday! Shuyan- my tempura! There was one time when we kept on chatting on msn remember? haha. you nice nice bodyguard! Jingwei. nothing much to say, just that you're usually the one who pushes us on and does all the paperwork and planning! The rest of us do the crapping! haha! Aqilah. YOU'RE REALLY REALLY REEEAALLY special! My dad came home from the orientation saying that he'd chatted with a malay man who had a tall, skinny daughter who played on monkey bars. (REALLY? do you still do that!?) And you were the second person i got to know in RGS because of our DADS! haha a big thanks to your daddy... Well both of us have been almost always working together (GYM!) and i think you're really nice and funny... HAHA... yeahh nadia diy aqi abu shuyan and jingwei you all RAWK!

Lulu: eh valteo come here i want to ask you something.
Me: what...
Lulu: do you have an obssession over aqilah?
Me: ???

Wednesday, September 07, 2005
the lulu thing

Heyyo. Got a sore eye this morning and had to keep my horrible eye closed all morning. :D
Just now, i went to the banana in pyjama official webby and IT ROCKS! So I've been signing on the guestbook there under the name "C. LULU" and i was sort of wondering if i should put down chen lulu's age as well. HAHA 15 years old still going to kiddy websites... never mind.
I drew this retarded picture of a banana and I SENT IT TO THE BANANAS IN PAJAMA GALLERY UNDER THE NAME LULU... HOHO very soon my picture will be displayed in the gallery with lulu's name there... i am so bad! Maybe i should get to work on a retarded picture of Lulu and send it to Playhouse Disney channel. hm. and i'll send it under the name CH. Lulu, age 5+10. hah.

Sunday, September 04, 2005
aiyah

haiz... got a back appointment next week... hope it's on a monday so i can pon MEP or GB! whee!
I suck at math and geog.
I kind of suck at english too.
My music is sub-standard.
The only thing i can be sure i'm good at is 1) japanese, 2) film-making and 3)writing. oh and of course, crapping.
First, it was my right knee.
My right knee was grown abnormally.
And it still is abnormal. May need some kind of weird surgery. BOO.
My jaw's abnormal too. dentist found out. need optional surgery to straighten it out. BOO BOO.
And then went to the doctor. Found out my pelvic bone's abnormal too. may need a brace. BOO BOO BOO BOO!
And. my forehead. it's not really abnormal but it's abnormally large. but i like it. heh.
HOW COME I NEED SO MUCH SURGERY?! it's not as if i'm filthy stinking rich!
need to haf good posture. need to wear jaw brace. need to go to knee specialist. and i need to flatten my forehead.
WHY DOES LIANGI HAVE FRIGGIN' STRAIGHT TEETH?
if u go and open her mouth one day you will see the teeth are all of the same size, same straighness, same alignment, etc, etc...
and mine?
absolutely crooked. getting braces next year. braces that will correct my jaw and crooked teeth.
but i guess no one's puuurrrrrfect after all. i'm still happy the way i was created. :D

Saturday, September 03, 2005
saturday nite eating

EAT EAT EAT. i must have gained one hundred kg eating so much today. roti prata for breakfast. then go for lunch at Tony Roma's restaurant. wah say... eat until so full, then go to Coffee Club for tea. drank so much iced chocolate and ate so many coooookies. finally couldn't eat dinner and some old coffee shop in Joo Chiat. I MUST EXERCISE LIKE MAD TOMORROW. :D

<--By the way, this is a lame lulu promotion poster i drew when i was waiting for this retarded comp of mine to finish installing a useless software. <3