Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Mr soh!!!

HAHA. Can you believe it? I woke up at 11.15am this morning! Probably because of this VERY VERY VERY BAD nightmare i had about (ahem ahem) MR SOH. and very strangely, this time vera and annie and loads of PITs were in this dream too.
Here begins the horrific dream entitled Mr Soh and The Hut of Terror.
AHEM. I was on this speed boat with annie and vera somewhere in the sea. We were destined for Pulau Ubin to shop for cheap clothes and accesories (but in real life Pulau Ubin only sells fruits). On a roaring speed boat. Well we arrived at Pulau Ubin half an hour later and we parked the boat in some warehouse in the sea... Then we started buying lots of clothes and video games and when we were finally done, it was already around 3pm. We got on the boat and headed for mainland Singapore. As we were riding, we realised that we were fast approaching a deserted part of Changi Beach and I spotted a tall, weather-beaten hut built on top of a huge rock near the shore.
OH MAN the worst thing was that I pointed out the hut to Annie and Vera and they were quite interested in it. So we went closer to the hut, and as we approached, a tall man with VERY distinct curtains of wavy black hair standing outside the hut.
"The hut has an owner?" said annie.
"EH harlow! You want to come in, take some rest? The sky dark dark, going to rain leh! Come in lah!"
We all gave the man furtive looks, glanced up at the overcast sky and entered the hut. We parked the boat near the edge of the rock.
"Mr Soh! Hi!" I said excitedly.
Mr Soh didnt say a word. He shoved us into the hut which was, to our surprise, crowded with people.
"DON'T COME IN! HE'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK HE IS!" cried the people desperately.
It was too late. We were already pushed into the hut, forced to squeeze with the rest of its occupants. I stared at all the people, who all looked bedraggled and tired. The people told us that they'd been tricked into the hut by Mr Soh, and they were forced to stay in the hut without any food or water. They'd been living on the bottles of water they'd brought with them on their journeys and rain water. Soon it began to rain. Immediately the people gathered their empty bottles and pails which they found in the hut, and began to collect the rain water which seeped through the roof of the hut. Annie and vera and I followed suit.
So Mr Soh had been holding people captive in his little hut, ill-treating them. We were told that when any of the people had to pee, they would have to bend down and pee through a rather large hole in the hut. EW. It was a Saturday, and the people had been kept in the hut since Thursday or Friday night. Why would Mr Soh do such a thing? Didnt he have to teach in school on thursday and friday? Oh. According to the people, Mr Soh locked the hut up when he wasn't keeping watch over the hut. Otherwise, he'd leave the door open. The three of us started screaming and yelling, and finally Mr Soh poked his head into the hut and warned, "The next person who screams will be drowned to death by me!!!!!" ............ We all had no choice but to sleep in the hut.
Three hours later, Annie and I woke up to find that there was a hole in the roof! We peered through the hole and saw a group of PITs (including lulu and liyana and PITs from other classes) talking together, their arms laden with hotdog buns and mineral water. Suddenly they looked into the hole and threw down all the food and water they had into the hut, and everyone was really grateful. We tried to ask them for help but they'd quickly left, whispering, "Mr Soh's coming...."
At nightfall Mr Soh had gone off to a coffeeshop in Changi to buy himself supper. "I'm going to buy char kway teow! Whoever dares to leave this hut, I will make sure he or she is personally killed by me!!!" WHATEVER. Once Mr Soh had gone, I realised that he had forgotten to lock up the hut! I pushed open the door and told annie and vera that i was going to escape. "No you can't! Mr Soh will murder you!" they cried. But I smiled at them and crept out to the beach. I looked around. No mr soh. Nobody at all. Our speed boat was gone, too. Since i was very familiar with Changi beach I sprinted as fast as I could to the nearest bus stop and flagged a taxi.
SAFE AT LAST. I arrived at my house safely and got my mom to pay the taxi man. My mom was really worried but I told her that I had just gone to a friend's party. Actually I was really scared.................
PART 2: Mr Soh's RETURN
The moment I got home I closed and locked up every single door and window in my house, except for that very window which was nearest to THE DOOR. OH NO. I THINK I HEAR FOOTSTEPS. MR SOH MIGHT KNOW MY ADDRESS.... Dad and mom were in their own rooms with my dog, and my maid was sleeping. And then...
CRACK. Mr Soh peered over the opaque board I put on the window, his eyes searching the room. There i was. Crouched down on the bench RIGHT UNDER THE WINDOW. I could hear his breath. I crawled across the room to get to the stairs, praying that he wouldn't see me but.....
"VICTORIA."
mr soh grinned maliciously, his eyes narrowing ferociously... He was very angry. Immediately I raced up to my room and locked the door, panting like siao. BANG. Mr soh had just rammed through the door and entered my house, running up the stairs at the speed of light. He pushed all the doors of the room, and when he came to my room door, he gave it a mighty push and the door cracked. He continued to push it until it was totally broken, and I screamed as he lunged forward at me. I jumped off the bed and jumped down the stairs to the balcony, screaming for my parents to help me. Mr soh was in the kitchen... He was looking for me... I was hiding under a shelf behind my swing and bicycle, praying VERY hard that he wouldn't see me... He entered the balcony, checking every nook and cranny, until...
"ABOUT TIME YOU DIED, VICTORIA."
ohman i was doomed.
PART 3: THE MAGICAL LETTER
Mr Soh had stretched out his hands to strangle me when my DAD slapped him hard on the shoulder. My Dad and Mr Soh fought for a while, until my dad suddenly brandished a paper with the word "MOE" on it.
"Ivan, do you want to lose your job? Look here, these are the names of all the MALE teachers in Singapore who have been fired for their bizarre but rash actions..."
Dad, my brave dad, thrust the paper into mr soh's blood-stained hands.
"I...I kept those people there because... I wanted to discipline them... For fun..."
DIAO. I almost collapsed.
"You shall go now, Ivan, and stop your shenanigans unless you want my wife and I to report you to the MOE."
HOORAY. Mr Soh got onto his feet and hurried off to release the people he'd captured. Including annie and vera.
THE END. That's the world's stupidest wildest dream. HAHA. WOOT. :)